Back to Queen Chateau Soapland! I really wanted to return to Ibaraki just to visit this old dilapidated brothel-like hotel haunted mansion. The first time, I went with my Japanese companion (Satoshi) who fled cowardly and I had to follow him, but this time I will go with my French friend. This mansion is truly a "Soapland”: brothels with baths.
Back when the place was running, a foreign face would never have made it through the front door, and that is still the first thing the curious run into today.
They for sure won’t be talking to or engaging with you in any capacity. Expect a flat no, with a wave of the hand.
The small red triangle on a window indicates that this is the emergency exit in case of fire. Japanese firefighters know this is where they must put their ladder to rescue prostitutes accompanied by their salary-men. What a strange situation. We took a tour of the mansion, because unfortunately the main entrance was impossible to use.
The back entrance is smashed! Inside it smells burnt and musty. It is also very dark and the place does not inspire confidence at all! This is why my Japanese friend was frightened. But this time I go there.
The owner of a love-hotel nearby said that a homeless had died here. It's not very shocking, homeless can die anywhere … but I hope they did not let their body rot here, as it is the case for all these centuries old people that one finds for decades after their death in their own beds! That is very murky, and it is not haikyo.
After a little walk in the mud and in the dark, we arrive in a much brighter hallway.
We're finally here. Queen Chateau Soapland, this is what you look like! Here, the main hall. Basically, above the stairs, a message is written: "If you ride, you die." Alright.
Near the front door, the phone reception, which probably provides the communication with the chambers. Each row of keys must match floor, and the keys each room.
There is a lot of audio and video equipment in this room. There must have been a non-stop show of sounds and lights.
Before climbing the stairs of death, I take a picture of the hunter haikyo I became, in case…
That was the official entrance. Behind you can see that there is a barricade.
Do not skimp on the photos, it's gone, I take another with the "companions" (that's how they are called in soaplands!).
You picture the client’s arrival, the long wait, then one of them appearing. A first-timer described that almost clinical moment on Reddit.
I had researched my spot carefully, since some soaplands don’t accept foreigners. I was surprised at how seamless it was. The clerk handed me a note and told me to come back in an hour.
Obviously, there are many people who go to the dubious haikyo (and I actually go now) and some engage in occupations more than strange … I noticed on several occasions tags or drawings of an equivalent haikyo to another, a way of saying "I was there!”but here there, it’s just a Polaroid photo of the torso of the guy who serves as a souvenir.
Haaaaa, the stairs of death! I'm not supposed to have stayed alive after leaving this place!
Well, so far so good. From here we see the vegetation recover. Strangely, I feel I've returned to normal, as if a healing was taking place, a kind of nature coagulation.
Here we are upstairs in the hallway, plunged into darkness. The rooms are there.
We enter a room. Perfect time to approach the subject of the ritual of Soapland. The salary-men sit naked (of course) on the plastic seat, the sukebe-isu ("seat perverse"). The seat is split down the middle … to make room for your imagination … or simply cleaning the client both externally and internally. Be clean, it's always better.
I'm not sure what this strange seat on the right. It looks like a torture device! (but I am to find out the answer below in the comments).
Once all cleaned up, the client moves into the small hot tub where he is relaxing with his companion. He talks about the stress of work, his boss, who makes strange decisions that he cannot disagree with, his wife who sucks all his money to eat lunch at the best restaurants in Tokyo with her girlfriends (and in addition he suspects her of sleeping with nasty aliens !)and that the only thing he is left is to go with his friends "salary-men" to the izakaya and drink beer (and go to prostitutes). Imagine the prostitute approving him on his side while tickling. Cozy and friendly atmosphere at will.
I had a sense that one is there really in the jacuzzi! Strange. Too hot, too cold? I do not know really. The client then moves on an air mattress, and the companion puts on an oily lotion, to join him there later. And later, if the salary-men still has a little strength, he is entitled to a last session on a real bed worthy of the name!
On paper it all sounds well-oiled. In reality, and especially for a foreigner, you do not always walk out satisfied.
A large amount of time was spent on translation, shower and preparation, so the actual service felt much shorter than the course I paid for. When I asked about a partial refund, the response turned intimidating.
A queen was chosen here because the prostitutes are said to be awa-hime (queens) regarding their refinement (sexually speaking).
The soaplands are everywhere in Japan, especially in Kabukicho (Tokyo), the capital of sex in Japan. I explain how a soapland actually works today, far from these ruins. For the few who are set on it, a handful of addresses are known to welcome foreigners, around Yoshiwara or Kawasaki, and their regulars do not hold back their praise.
The Kawasaki place is the real deal. Trust me, it is worth every yen.
Between the door that stays shut, the first-timer’s nerves, the occasional disappointment and the enthusiasm of a few regulars, you will have heard the whole spectrum of this place. And in the end, these ruined walls may already tell you the essential.
Thank you for following these haikyo adventures and see you soon for more!
